Saturday, August 28, 2010

the post I didn't want to write

The five stages of grief are: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. 

Though weeks have passed since I first heard the news, and I've occasionally dealt with bouts of anger and depression, I keep coming back to stage one.  They're not REALLY leaving.  It's just temporary.  They'll be back.  But with just three days until the U-Haul shows up, I can't put off acceptance any longer:  Sibila, Brian, and Sophie are moving to Colorado.

I mean, it could be worse: they could move to Guam, which almost actually happened at one point.  At least we have plenty of family and friends in Colorado to warrant frequent plane trips, and they'll still have roots in Bend since they're keeping their house here.  We'll plan family vacations together, talk on the phone, and email, but it won't be the same--our best friends are leaving.  No more Wednesday just-the-girls play days, spur-of-the-moment happy hours, late nights crashing on their air mattress, all-day-Bloody-Mary-Sundays, weekend camping trips, floating the river, or any of the other spontaneous fun that the Lantzys could always be counted on for.  And that's what I'll miss most--having those people in our life that we can drop in on anytime, feel 100 percent welcome with, and turn no plans at all into something special.  But what Sadie will miss most...well, she doesn't even realize yet.

I had always imagined Sadie and Sophie growing up as sisters--two only-children who would enjoy the benefit of a constant companion without having to divide their parents' attention or share a bedroom.  Now I guess they'll grow up more as cousins, with distance between them but a family-like bond keeping them close.  At least I hope that's how it happens.  I'll do everything in my power to make it so. 

Lantzys, we will miss you so much. 

And now I'm signing off before my keyboard gets too wet.